The First Time
by almostlover-hopelessdream
Summary: Some Krayonder/Taz for you because I'm at a total mind-block when it comes to TUp right now. Krayonder remembers a lot of first times... Not as weird as it sounds! One-shot


**Some TUp though TUp shippers won't appreciate this story. I don't own any of these characters they all belong to the wonderful Starkid. Krayonder's POV. Rated T because I don't know what these ratings mean. Enjoy!**

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I remember the first time I saw her smile. I'd always thought she was hot – I'd catch myself staring at her as she worked out, her white tank top drenched in sweat; when she was screaming in an ensign's face; whenever she was reading. Then she smiled. She didn't know I was there, I was in the doorway of the gym while her and Up were fighting. He slammed her on the floor and just as he was celebrating she hooked her legs around his and spun him around so she was pinning him down. The look on his face was so brilliant she grinned. I felt my knees go weak. Her entire face lit up and she looked more like the 24 year old I knew she was rather than the worn-out ranger she pretended to be. Up was in the same position as me, though he probably saw her smile more often than me, and he just stared at her as she sat up and sat across his stomach. Her grin shrunk to a small smile as she watched him sit up and hold onto her so she wouldn't fall off his lap. The kiss was so brief I wasn't sure if I'd imagined it or not, but it didn't matter, I've never run faster in my life. I collapsed on my bed long before I even knew how I got there and let my breathing slow down. That shouldn't have affected me so much. Sure my Lieutenant was hot but I wasn't _falling _for her. Was I?

I remember the first time I heard her laugh. She'd been dragged to a girly sleepover by February and I happened to be passing the room so I decided to check up on the girls. When I walked in February was squealing in delight while Megagirl had makeup all over her synthetic skin and her 'hair' was up in plaits. February didn't understand when Megagirl mentioned that she had most probably ruined her sensors. Taz and Specs were lying side by side on the bed looking over at the scene; both had a glass of wine in their hands. When February moved out of the way and they caught sight of Megagirl they both burst into laughter. I swear nothing else mattered in that moment. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were scrunched up as she curled up on her side, careful not to spill the drink. She looked so dead-Goddamn beautiful. February screeched when she saw me and screamed at me to get out, but not before Taz stopped laughing, looked up and caught my eye. I could've sworn on my life I saw a small smile play on her lips. I almost skipped back to my room. I was definitely falling for her.

I remember the first time I saw her dance. She was drunk, insanely so. She'd given up on getting tequila shots and just leaned over the bar to steal the bottle from the bar tender – he was either too busy staring at her or too scared of her to protest. It was probably a bit of both. After the entire bottle was gone she had dragged Up out on the dance floor and started dancing in the most distracting way as if no one could see. Up himself was having a hard time with his hands gripping her waist, his head thrown back and his jaw tightened. He was probably concentrating very hard on something that wasn't Taz's hips moving against his. My fingers tightened around my beer while I fought with my desire and my jealously. What I wouldn't give for her to dance with me like that and as I watched Up tear her from his body and roughly pull her out of the bar I ordered something a lot stronger. I planned on forgetting that entire situation but I could never forget the noises I heard coming from his room right next to mine for the rest of the night.

I remember the first time I saw her cry. Her and Up had been a couple for two months and by now it was already old news. I had learnt to drown my misery in whiskey and turn my head whenever she leaned in to kiss him. I was lying in bed, thinking about how she was only just next door doing all the things I'd always wanted to do with her, when I heard a scream. I was out of the door in seconds. The door was open and I could see three people in the room and I realised with a sickening twist of my stomach that the noises I was hearing that day wasn't her. Commander Anna Martin was curled up in Up's bed, covering herself with the sheets looking like she could just kill herself right there and then. Up was standing next to the bed wearing absolutely nothing at all while Taz just screamed at him in Spanish. He went to grab her but she jumped back and sobbed that it was over. My heart jumped and as she was storming out of his room I pulled her into mine muttering some shit about how she wouldn't like anyone else to see her like this. Surprisingly she went without complaint. I locked my door, got another bottle of whiskey, put on some old horror movie and pulled her to the bed. She sobbed on my chest while getting progressively drunker while she cried about how Up was the first person she'd ever let her guard down to because she didn't want to get hurt but he'd hurt her anyway, about how he was her best friend and how could he do that and how it was obvious she was never good enough for him and she was a fool for thinking so. At this I pulled the whiskey out of her hands and pulled her closer to me telling her that she was perfect and if I was able to I would kick Up's ass. She laughed softly before falling asleep on me.

I remember the first time I felt her kiss. It was the briefest of touches as I lay in-between sleep and consciousness. I felt her jostle beside me as she woke up from her breakdown and I found myself disappointed she was leaving. But then I felt her breath on my lips before she leaned down and lightly pushed her lips against mine. My breathing hitched and my eyes shot open while I quickly grabbed her arms before she ran off like I knew she would. She stared at me wide-eyed before quickly making up some excuse. I cut her off with another kiss. It was pure bliss, it was better than I imagined, her lips were softer than anyone thought possible. She grabbed onto the collar of the shirt I was wearing and pulled herself onto my lap. My arms wrapped around her waist barely daring to believe that it was happening. She caught herself then, pulled back looking terrified and sprinted out of the room.

I remember the first time I saw her clueless. She always seemed so in control, she always seemed to know everything that when I saw her standing in front of me with that lost look on her face I just wanted to tell her everything I knew. Months had passed since the Up incident and no matter how many times he begged her on his knees to take him back, she declined and Up finally ended up leaving the ship and leaving her as Commander. She put me as her Lieutenant saying that I was the best of a bad situation but I caught that small smile on her face just as she left. After the waters had settled and everything was as normal as it could be on our ship she showed up at my door. Being Commander she had the room next to mine and often showed up to make sure I wasn't slacking on my Lieutenant duties. She was a lot harsher than Up but none of us could deny that the ship was running more efficiently. However, this time when she showed up it was the middle of night and she looked terrified. Just as I was about to ask her what was wrong she slammed her lips against mine and pushed me into the room. I was too stunned to do anything other than kiss her back for what felt like hours.

I remember the first time I felt her love. After we had collapsed on the sofa we sat in silence for about an hour before she turned to me. She told me that she doesn't like being vulnerable, that until Up she hadn't been since she was 15. She wanted me to tell her right there and then what I wanted from her because she didn't want to be hurt again and if she wasn't good enough that was fine but I had to tell her. I felt my heart breaking as I pulled her into my arms and muttered that I wanted all of her, if that was alright by her. She pulled back and stared into my eyes and asked if I was serious, if I really wanted everything. She told me she wanted me more than anything in the world and made me promise I would never leave her. I told her I would walk through fire if it got her to believe that I was in love with her. My eyes widened at my mistake but she only smiled, kissed me and told me she loved me too. I had never felt happier.


End file.
